Need You Now

If only you were reading this......

Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now

Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now

And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now

Stop and Stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
Something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

Letter to dad

Dear Deuta,

I’m still finding it hard to believe you are no more. The last I saw you wasn’t a very good sight. You were lying still with a pipe inside your mouth and lots of gadgets attached to your body. I whispered something in your ears and I thought you will wake up listening to it...but you still didn’t. At first I thought it is a dream and it will be over soon. But with each passing day the people around me and the situation at home are making me realize that its not and that you are gone forever and will never get to see you again. You did not give me enough time to show you that I don’t drive that bad...time to cook tandori chicken for you that u asked for so many times...time to watch the movie ‘bheja fry’ one last time...time to go to Noida Golf Course to have that chicken you were always talking about...time to make you watch ‘memories’ video one last time...time to make you meet my friends you wanted to meet...time to take you to ‘Jim Corbett’. You did not give me time to tell you that I learned the song ‘Manuhe manuhor babe’ for you.

As I am writing this, I can somehow see you singing ‘kala prem janena’...the smiling face and sparkle in your eyes...and I’m so glad I have captured all these moments of yours. But deuta, I’ll miss you so much. I’ll never get to hear you say ‘Piply, photo tul aako’ (Piply, take pictures) and ‘Piply, camera tu kot?’ (Where is the camera?). The way you used to say after taking a picture ‘Etu world’or best photograh hobo’ (This going to be world’s best photograph)...even after u have cut few people out of the frame. I’ll miss the way you used to pull my leg...’Toi mukh khon kiyo fulai thoiso’...’tur mukh khon enduror nisna’ (your face looks like a rodent). I remember when I was a kid you used to say...’Kha...etu local maas hoi’ (eat..thats a local fish)...’maas khale souku bhaal hoi’ (fish is good for your eyes).

I wonder why you did not give me time to tell you that I love you and why you did not hug me one last time?

You are not dead for me...You are here with me and I know you are looking for an opportunity to pull my leg and I know you are reading this too.

Deuta, I love you and you are still alive for me.

Your’s irritating daughter who loves troubling you
Piply (Endur)